Giorgi Javakhishvili and Anastasia Ianakopulos are the parents of 4-month-old Anisia. Both of them are first-time parents and equally share responsibility for their child.
Giorgi says that fatherhood is “a very difficult, but extremely pleasant process that involves much responsibility.”
“If until now my desires and interests were my priorities, now I have instinctively switched to a tiny, miniature person and everything, i.e., my thoughts, needs are about her,” he says, adding that if until now he was always focused on going out and spending his free time with his friends, now he may stay at home for weeks, but it does not bother him because “he has someone at home” who fills his life with all the emotions he needs.
As he says, after the birth of his child, he turned from a rough, serious person into an “ordinary clown”:
Both my wife and I sometimes behave in such a way that if someone shoots a video of us and shows it to us later, our inner complexes will bother us a lot, but when we are with our child, we forget about everything, as long as we manage to make her happy; when she smiles at me, I melt like a candle."
Fathers' School
When they learned that they were expecting a child, Giorgi and Anastasia experienced “great emotional stress” because “suddenly they had to answer questions they had never had before”.
I started searching for things: I was googling, reading, and in this process, I came across the information about the Fathers' School. I registered right away, without giving it a second thought. At that moment I realized that there were many things that I need right now, and it was a lucky coincidence,” says Giorgi.
He is one of about 90 fathers participating in the Fathers' School initiative jointly implemented by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) and the organization Care Together. The initiative has been implemented in Tbilisi and Kutaisi since 2021 with the support of the European Union.
Anastasia is also a very broad-minded person, and she wanted me to be involved in the process of pregnancy, childbirth and raising our child. I felt that she was very pleased with my initiative and the step I had made,” says Giorgi about his decision to participate in the Fathers' School.
As he notes, the Fathers' School taught him a lot and made him a more decisive person. If at first he hesitated whether to attend the birth of his child or not, the advice of other fathers convinced him that he should attend this important process.
I was told by many that it was difficult and stressful and I didn’t have to attend it. But when I joined the Fathers' School, they told me: “If you can and are ready to handle the process psychologically, you should definitely attend the childbirth because your wife needs someone who will support her and help her”, and this was what made me decide to attend the childbirth,” recalls Giorgi, who spent 18 hours in the maternity ward with his wife.
When at certain time the baby was left alone in the ward, he approached her and said “Pomelo”. "She grabbed my finger, looked at me, and I felt that what I used to do while she was still in the womb, was the right thing to do.”
Fatherhood needs to be learned
Giorgi also mentions that the Fathers' School helped him enhance his knowledge in many ways and became more aware of his own and, in general, father's role in the family. However, people around him were sceptical about his decision to join the Fathers' School.
We talked about our personal experiences, our relationship with our fathers, our memories, what we remembered [from our childhood]. By reflecting on all this and processing the information, I realized that the people who told me that I shouldn't join the Fathers' School because “it's not appropriate for a man and especially for a Georgian man to have someone to teach him fatherhood, because fatherhood doesn't need to be learned as it is related to some knowledge that is acquired naturally,” I understood that they were just wrong. In a conservative country such as Georgia, the Fathers' School does a great job for people with stereotypical attitudes."
Woman's and a man's duties
Giorgi strongly believes that in order to eliminate violence against women in Georgia, we should be aware of equality since our childhood:
“Boys are usually made to do “manly” things: fathers will take them to the garage, take them to a party with friends or offer to do something similar, while girls stay with their mothers and help them with household chores. Boys are told not to do any household chores because it's not a man's duty. Such things should be eliminated. Childhood traumas determine a lot later in adult life."
According to him, many women tend to hide domestic violence because they “have nowhere to go”, which is wrong; Instead, women should know that “no matter what happens, they have somewhere to go and they can always go back to their parents’ place."
Many things can be avoided this way. It can all start with a single hitting or slapping that later takes more severe forms and can lead to a fatal consequence. She should know that apart from her husband, she has her family, her parents, who she can rely on and share her ideas with, who can support her and allow her to return back to them, any time, because the house is hers as well and does not only belong to sons."
The United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) has been working for years to eliminate gender-biased sex selection (GBSS) and other harmful practices in Georgia. Ensuring equal participation of women and men in child care and household chores, in order to build a harmonious society, is the number one priority for the organization.
The establishment of the Fathers’ School in Tbilisi and Kutaisi - an initiative carried out in the framework of the “EU 4 Gender Equality: Together against gender stereotypes and gender-based violence" programme, funded by the European Union, implemented jointly by UN Women and UNFPA - serves this very purpose.
